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October 28, 2018

The year is 2018 and as women we are confronted with an ever increasing technology that is changing the way we meet men – dating apps !

In today’s click and swipe happy world, while there are no official statistics, the industry bodies claim that there is around 4.5 million Australians looking for a potential partner from the virtual smorgasbord each year !

The popularity of online dating is being driven by several things but a major factor is time – a lack of it to be more specific. There is no longer a taboo surrounding these online dating apps and they are popular more than ever now because the stigma around them have disappeared in the last decade.

However, I had one girlfriend say to me once “I’d rather run through the shopping centre naked than put myself on the internet”.

But dangerously, having such an abundance of app choices may mean that you might end up becoming addicted to the process and find that you are not going out as much.

People lie on their online dating profiles – OK I know this is hardly an earth-shattering revelation. Never mind the fact that more than one third of all people who use online dating sites have never actually gone on a date with someone they met online. After a few pleasantries, most usually turn into Casper and do a “ghost” act and disappear. But reality is the person that you are chatting to online is chatting to six to ten other girls at a time, and you want him to be exclusive and devote his utter and sincere attention to you “online” but sadly he probably has no intention of meeting you in person at all.

And there is the other possibility that he may in fact be already in a relationship, bored and just fooling around. Amongst my single friends, it is often discussed that most men don’t take the interactions on online dating apps seriously treating them like a game.

Online dating apps, however are popular and here to stay. You may want to think about online dating as a numbers game (and apparently many people do), you could probably swipe left, right, left, left, left and left between 10-100 times in the span of time that it would take you to interact with one potential date in ‘real-life’. Is it really that scary to have a “real” meet up and have a “real” conversation with a “real” person ?

So if you’re struggling with online fatigue and you have sadly considered purchasing a thimble for your overused and sore finger from swiping, you really just have to leave your house and interact with humanity. I know it’s a scary thought – leaving your couch, taking off your ugh boots, putting your Netflix binging on pause, and going out to meet people.

Rather than staring at a screen and viewing misleading profiles that don’t really give you the full picture of a guy but rather only pictures of his shirtless top half and photos that clearly show his cropped out ex-girlfriend, you should actually get up, get dressed and get out and start meeting people face to face.

And whilst I try to understand that that’s the part that seems the hardest, (actually no, I really don’t understand this at all) getting out into the world and interacting with different people is not as daunting as it may sound. Meeting a man in person is extremely easy. They’re 50 percent of the population, after all aren’t they ?

From the moment you wake up until when you go to sleep, there are countless opportunities for you to meet someone – taking public transportation, at the coffee shop, at work, in a bank queue, petrol station, doctors surgery waiting room, in a car park, out at lunch, in the gym, carwash cafe, at the bar for happy hour, getting groceries – the list goes on. Start a conversation and engage – everyone has an interesting story to tell right ?

The biggest advantage to meeting people in real life is getting to experience their vibe right away, which is something no online dating platform can deliver.

As a woman, embrace your confidence and say hello, introduce yourself, exchange names, find common ground, share stories, perspectives and accomplishments all the while extending friendly politeness through body language and tone. It’s in this interaction that a new connection is born. Enjoy the moment.

But please, please, please – don’t be that woman that stands around at a bar looking stand offish and unapproachable, lacking energy, and lacking self confidence, not smiling, not laughing and more concerned about her surroundings and who is looking at her – your womanly energy and aura is everything. Energy attracts energy. Confidence is power and power is sexy. It takes a lot for a man to approach you so when he does, don’t shut him down but rather get to know him. Give him that chance. He may not be your “type” and if anything, maybe just maybe a great friendship may start. At the same time, some men also need to stop staring from a distance for hours and start approaching you lovely ladies.

Only you have The Power to find that right partner for you, he is not going to fall in your lap. There are some really genuinely amazing men out there. Some are just as broken and have been just as hurt and damaged and lost hope like you may have.

Love is a fundamental human need for everyone and I still believe that most women would prefer to find love at first sight, rather than first swipe (or maybe the 100th swipe)

Never forget, our time is limited here and we only get one shot at this life so sit in your driver’s seat and start driving! It’s an amazing and empowering feeling knowing that you are steering it in any direction and speed that YOU choose and that YOU have the control of it – YOU have The Power.

Don’t put your happiness and power in the hands of online dating apps. So get motivated and get out there and find it in the real world.

And hell if all fails, just buy a really cute puppy and take it for a walk – that usually is a conversation starter with almost anyone ????

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